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Some funny jokes about Windows OS... and a lots more

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 15:19:00

mago

Browsing some sites for help on how to update my "brand new" S3 virge 2mb video card (yes you got that right, at least it was free), found this funny post slapping Windows around a little more... All jokes aside, they have a MASSIVE monopoly for something like a decade or more, earn tons of money (literally, if they put that money in real currency and weight it, it will reach dozens of tons), could easily blackmail/bribe/out-pay every single talented programmer in the world but still somehow didn't quite manage to make their main product in a true, professional, ground-breaking piece of software... Why, I don't know... Here's the link: <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.fast-autos.net/forum/showthread.php?t=2258&page=2">http://www.fast-autos.net/forum/showthr ... 258&page=2</a><!-- m --> [color=red:30u7isoo]Crimson Wizard: changed topic title since we have jokes about everything here now in this thread <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) -->[/color:30u7isoo]
Sun, 06 Aug 2006 17:38:15

Crimson Wizard

Hehe, the one about "your mouse has moved" is just a piece of art. <!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D --> Sometimes I am having fun inventing "quotes" for famous characters (from movies etc), and there was this one (circa late 1990-ies): I do not need Monica, I have Windows. Bill Gates.
Sun, 06 Aug 2006 22:16:05

The 4th Class

While these jokes aren't related to MS, I still find them hilarious: 1) A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician decide they're going to watch how many people walk in and out of a house in a given time and see how many people are inside after the experiment. So, they begin the experiment with an empty house. About half an hour later, 2 people walk into the house. But, several minutes later, 3 come out. The physicist says, "our measurements were inaccurate." The biologist says, "they have reproduced." The mathematician says, "if one more person goes into the house, it will be empty again." 2) There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't. 3) The train of Communism was rolling down the tracks one day until the engine spluttered and died. Comrade Stalin woke up and shouted, "Shoot the driver!" Comrade Khrushchev disagreed: "Rehabilitate the driver!" Comrade Brezhnev smiled, closed his eyes, and said, "Let's all just relax and get back in our seets. Then nobody will notice the train has stopped." Then finally Comrade Gorbachev jumped up and roared, "You idiots have got it all wrong! What we gotta do is run out of the train, hold our arms up high, and shout out loud, 'The train isn't working! The train isn't working!'" <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Mon, 07 Aug 2006 09:43:02

Crimson Wizard

It's funny how thematic anecdotes quickly change for political ones. [quote="The 4th Class":30woi4xo]The train of Communism was rolling down the tracks I would added some more here: Comrade Lenin said: "Let's go and find another train". Comrade Trotzky said: "Make driver pull the train." ...... ...... Comrade Andropov cried: "Do something FAST, I do not have much time!" Comrade Chernenko said: "I think... we should..." And then suddenly Comrade Gorbatchev... etc Well, here a couple about programmers: 1. A physicist, a philosopher and a programmer rent a room in a house. Once a fire started. A philospher sit down at a table and discussed with himself that life is simply a moment in universal enterinty, so there's no need to worry about death. Physicist made simple calculations, took a extinguisher and fought fire with mathematical perfection. Programmer woke up, saw extinguisher on the wall, thought: "The solution is found!" and went back to sleep. 2. When a programmer goes to sleep he puts 2 glasses on his bedside table: the one full of water - for the case he will want to drink during the night, and the empty one - for the case he will not.
Mon, 07 Aug 2006 14:02:18

The 4th Class

[quote="Crimson Wizard":234neaqj]Comrade Lenin said: "Let's go and find another train". Comrade Trotzky said: "Make driver pull the train." ...... ...... Comrade Andropov cried: "Do something FAST, I do not have much time!" Comrade Chernenko said: "I think... we should..." And then suddenly Comrade Gorbatchev... etc Any more than what's in the joke now and it may get too long. <!-- s:wink: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_wink.gif" alt=":wink:" title="Wink" /><!-- s:wink: --> Here's some music-based ones: 1) One day, a musician finally realizes that he has been constipated for about three days, so he decides to go to the doctor. The doctor doesn't seem it's that great a problem, and prescribes a mild laxative. But after another three days that didn't work, so he goes back to the doctor, who is somewhat confused, but offers a stronger laxative. But not even that one worked, and now the doctor was getting really puzzled, so he tried a different approach: "What exactly do you do for a living?" The musician replied, "I'm a musician." Then, the doctor struck his forehead with his palm, and shouted, "Ah! Of course! Now it makes perfect sense!" He reaches into his pocket and gives the musician $10. "Here. There's a buffet just across the street." 2) What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra? The bull has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back. 3) A woman suddenly realizes that she is no longer happy living with her saxophonist lover, so she says to him, "Honey, I think it's time you pull out." He replies. "why? Am I sharp?"
Mon, 07 Aug 2006 14:24:00

Crimson Wizard

Yeah, it seems these are international as well. <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> but I did not undertand the last one. Heh, remembered another one about programmers. I hope this sounds in english as well as in russian. Once two programmers met on the street. One of them looked a bit sad. - Wassup? - asked second. - I've got probdems with my DOS, - answered sad one. - And what's with it? Memory errors? IO failures? - Doh, snivel...
Mon, 07 Aug 2006 14:51:43

The 4th Class

Sorry, I don't get it. <!-- s:mrgreen: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":mrgreen:" title="Mr. Green" /><!-- s:mrgreen: --> As for the saxophone one, there is a triple pun on the words "pull out:" 1: To leave 2: Coitus interruptus 3: In the world of musical instruments, an instrument can either be "in tune," flat (too low), or sharp (too high). With an instrument like the saxophone, all you have to do to tune it is adjust the mouthpiece to change the instrument's size. If your instrument is too small, it's sharp, so you have to "pull out." Consequently, if it's too big, it's flat, so you have to "push in." Here's a more Windows oriented one: A dedicated DOS programmer was making sweet love to his wife until she said, "Honey, I don't really enjoy this that much." The programmer then says, "Retry? Ignore? Or abort?"
Mon, 07 Aug 2006 15:13:01

Crimson Wizard

Well, the idea of that joke above was that the sad programmer got cold and has his nose blocked (he's got snivel). He wants to say "I have problems with my nose", but it sounds like "probdems with dose". I remember another joke about feminine Windows version. Its general difference is that it has 3 common dialog buttons: "Yes", "No" and "Maybe". <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) -->
Mon, 07 Aug 2006 16:38:01

The 4th Class

[quote="Crimson Wizard":14r24qi6]Well, the idea of that joke above was that the sad programmer got cold and has his nose blocked (he's got snivel). He wants to say "I have problems with my nose", but it sounds like "probdems with dose". In English, DOS is pronounced "doss," so the whole confusion with "nose" is lost in translation I guess. Now here are some genuine Windows jokes: 1) Windows 95: n. a 32 bit GUI for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition. 2) God called a meeting with George Bush, Osama Bin Laden and Bill Gates and said: "I've given you all the tools you needed to make a better world - you've blown it and I'm ending the world in two weeks." George Bush went on TV and said "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks." Osama Bin Laden called his advisors together and said "I have bad news and really bad news. The bad news is that God exists. The really bad news is that the world will end in two weeks." Bill Gates called his co-workers together and said "I have good news and really good news. The good news is that God thinks I am one of the three most powerful people in the world. The really good news is that we don't have to fix the bugs in Windows XP."
Mon, 07 Aug 2006 17:03:13

mago

Hahaha, some of those are really funny (the DOS programmer one is so good) <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> Still, I'm, sorry to say most of the jokes I didnt quite understood the subtle funny parts, I guess due to english not being the first language, so a lot of meaning must be lost in the translation... Great effort though, glad you guys are not like me, I simply don't have not even ONE joke stored, for those moments with friends.... <!-- s:cry: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_cry.gif" alt=":cry:" title="Crying or Very sad" /><!-- s:cry: -->
Mon, 07 Aug 2006 17:37:41

Crimson Wizard

Heh, another one circa middle 90-ies. An afro-american... heh, I always gigle when hear this "politicaly correct" term; do anyone knows a normal english/american word for a black-skinned man which is not treated as a insult? <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> nevermind... so - And afro-american is sitting before the PC with Norton Commander running. He presses F6, Enter, Tab, then again - F6, Enter, Tab, then again - F6, Enter, Tab, and so on, and singing: - I like to move it, move it! I like to move it, move it!...
Mon, 07 Aug 2006 18:05:26

The 4th Class

Don't feel too hard on yourself, Mago. As long as you enjoy the moment, that's all that's important in the long run. <!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D --> And seeing as how we're steering into racial jokes, I'll take the bold step and say some myself. But just a disclaimer: I am by no means a white supremesis, and I believe that skin colour is irrelevant compared to kind personality and good faith. That said, let's have some jokes. <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> 1) What do you call a white guy with 2 black guys? A victim. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? A basketball coach. What do you call a white guy with 20 black guys? A quarterback. What do you call a white guy with 200 black guys? The warden. 2) What do you call 4 white guys pushing a car up a hill? 4 good friends. What do you call 4 black guys pushing a car up a hill? 4 good homies. What do you call 4 Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto.
Mon, 07 Aug 2006 18:43:29

Crimson Wizard

<!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> GTA is a good one.
But just a disclaimer: I am by no means a white supremesis, and I believe that skin colour is irrelevant compared to kind personality and good faith.
<!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D --> Ya-ya-ya. Heh, russian traditionally-"racial" jokes usually adress Chukchi man (aboriginal of northern tundra), who is used as a synonym to a person unacquainted with civilization, or, heh, Hebrews, but they are actually not "racial" in literal meaning, not mentioning that many of them are invented by Jews themselves (at least they often tell them in comic shows on TV <!-- s:wink: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_wink.gif" alt=":wink:" title="Wink" /><!-- s:wink: --> ). There're more evil ones about Americans (I mean US-men) appeared lately (last 20-30 years maybe) during the Cold War and afterwards. Well, there are also series of anecdotes about Chinese appeared in a period of Soviet-Chinese conflict. They all are usually filled with black-humor and military bravado. Some of my favorites: Breaking news on Chinese prime TV channel: - In response to our nuclear strike, Russians have dropped a Rubber Bomb on us. 2 million perished already. Bomb is still bouncing... Soviet news: - There was a Chinese ballistic rocket shot down above our territory today. Pilot has been captured, but a stoker is still on the run. An article in "Pravda" newspaper: "US carrier mysteriously dissapeared in Bermudan Triangle this night. There were no casaulties on our part." Americans build a super-computer, capable of making 100% prognosis. President of US is invited to ask a couple of questions. - Well, ahem, tell me, will there be a World War Three? - bzzz-bzzz. Yes. - Whow, great! And how long will it be going? - bzzz-bzzz. 3 years. - Ha, just what we are ready for! Well, darn, what should I ask more, just for a test? Hmmm... simply for example, tell me, how much will a bottle of Coca-Cola cost after WW III ? - bzzz-bzzz. 2 rubles.
Mon, 07 Aug 2006 19:27:26

Firebrand

[quote="The 4th Class":37webztj]What do you call 4 Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto. It's not funny <!-- s:P --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s:P -->
Mon, 07 Aug 2006 20:13:55

leilei

i don't do ms jokes anymore because there's so many and almost every action they do is a joke it's like beating a dead horse. I want linux jokes!
Tue, 08 Aug 2006 05:19:54

Crimson Wizard

[quote="Firebrand":2a0pxr0d][quote="The 4th Class":2a0pxr0d]What do you call 4 Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto. It's not funny <!-- s:P --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s:P --> I knew you will like this one <!-- s:P --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s:P -->
Thu, 10 Aug 2006 07:18:07

Crimson Wizard

Oh no, I wrote "distinguisher" instead of "extinguisher" up there. And no one corrected me. <!-- s:? --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_confused.gif" alt=":?" title="Confused" /><!-- s:? -->
Thu, 10 Aug 2006 12:03:40

Firebrand

[quote="Crimson Wizard":2ama37q8]Oh no, I wrote "distinguisher" instead of "extinguisher" up there. And no one corrected me. <!-- s:? --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_confused.gif" alt=":?" title="Confused" /><!-- s:? --> Then maybe no one is reading the whole posts here and they are just saying "This joke is funny" <!-- s:P --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s:P -->
Thu, 10 Aug 2006 14:48:28

The 4th Class

[quote="Crimson Wizard":2og4hxwg]Oh no, I wrote "distinguisher" instead of "extinguisher" up there. And no one corrected me. <!-- s:? --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_confused.gif" alt=":?" title="Confused" /><!-- s:? --> I tend to ignore spelling/lexicon errors by ESL's anyway. <!-- s:P --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s:P -->
Thu, 10 Aug 2006 14:56:02

Crimson Wizard

What the f**k is ESL? [img:3gg7yq25]http://foolstown.com/sm/susel.gif[/img:3gg7yq25]
Thu, 10 Aug 2006 15:02:07

The 4th Class

English as a Second Language
Wed, 21 Feb 2007 06:24:40

Crimson Wizard

Heh, one small joke about Windows OS... <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyLqUf4cdwc">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyLqUf4cdwc</a><!-- m --> <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: -->
Wed, 21 Feb 2007 17:28:29

TheCount

[quote="Crimson Wizard":2zwdnbzq]Heh, one small joke about Windows OS... <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyLqUf4cdwc">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyLqUf4cdwc</a><!-- m --> <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> 10 minutes? At my comp speed? Forget it <!-- s:evil: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_evil.gif" alt=":evil:" title="Evil or Very Mad" /><!-- s:evil: -->
Wed, 21 Feb 2007 18:04:43

TheCount

I got a few jokes posted in my TW tribe's forum. Like this one: (dirty joke) [quote="Sonicsheep":390ht9la]There's a Rich man and a poor man, and every christmas they get together to compare notes on what they bought their wives. The rich man tells the poor man "I bought my wife a braclet from tiffany's and a mercades benz,". The poor man asks "whyd you get her that?" the rich man said "well if she dont like the braclet, she can drive to tiffany's and get her money or trade it for somthing else" Then the rich man asks for the poor man what he got his wife. The poor man says "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo". The rich man said "thats an unusual combination, why'd you get her that?", so the poor man replied "well if she don't like the slippers, she can f**k herself" Might have a few typos left. I had to correct them
Thu, 22 Feb 2007 18:16:10

The 4th Class

George Bush, Stephen Harper, and Tony Blair are all doing construction upon a skyscraper, when it's time for them to eat their lunch. Blair opens up his knapsack and curses: "Tuna sandwich! Again? I told my wife I hated tuna! If she gives me this again I'm going to jump off this goddamn building." Harper opens up his bag and shouts, "Grr! Poutine? I'm fat enough as it is? If my wife gives me poutine again tomorrow, I'm jumping off this god damn building!" Then Bush opens up his bag and curses, "Oranges! But they're from Florida, a blue state! If my wife has the banality to feed the most important man in the world with the food of his opponents, I'm jumping off this building!" Surely enough, the next day, Blair gets the tuna, Harper gets the poutine, and Bush gets the Florida oranges, so they all jumped off the building together. So CNN goes the cover story, and all three of their wives are at the scenes where their husbands' flat corpses lie. Mrs. Blair bursts into tears, "Well, he should've told me he didn't like tuna anymore!" Mrs. Harper is also extremely distraught, "But... I had know idea he was so cautious about his weight! I didn't even notice, I just loved him for who he was!" Then Mrs. Bush blows a handkerchief, and sniffels, "I just don't understand... He always packs his own lunch!"
Fri, 23 Feb 2007 16:33:24

The 4th Class

[quote="Crimson Wizard":35s4lhjj]Heh, one small joke about Windows OS... <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyLqUf4cdwc">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyLqUf4cdwc</a><!-- m --> <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> And of course they don't take responsibility. <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: -->
Fri, 23 Feb 2007 17:14:47

Crimson Wizard

Heh, there's many such videos.
Wed, 04 Apr 2007 19:12:14

The 4th Class

OMG, here's a hilarious joke I learned in Linguistics class today... it's about people with speech impediments so yeah it's kinda PI but so what? <!-- s:P --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s:P --> ... A man with a bucket and severe expressive language disorder has just moved out of his apartment into a small house, and is ready to start a new life. So, on this fine day, he does to the convenience store and says, "bum, please." The cashier is disturbed and says, "do you mean gum?" and the man says, "o sorry sorry, yes I do mean gum." So he gets it, but says to the cashier, showing him his bucket "you can put it in the fuck it." The cashier gets really pissed and says, "You are a perverted son of a bitch! Take your damn gum and piss off!" The man thinks nothing of it, and starts walking down the street. Then he passes a pet store and there's a cocker spaniel at the window, with his paws reaching out to him. The man instantly falls in love with the dog, runs into the store, and says to the cashier, "I'll take that cock and spank it by the window." The cashier is kinda confused, and stutters, "uh... you mean the cocker spaniel over there? Her name's Mitsy, cute girl she is." The man says, "O, I'm so sorry sir, I have a speech impediment. I do mean the cocker spaniel. I'll take her." So the man, now armed with some chewing gum, a bucket, and a pet dog, are now a happy family. So, he walks down the street with his bucket of gum and cocker and spaniel, until a cat passes by. Mitsy gets way too carried away and runs off after it. The man is so upset, he can't run after the dog with all this weight, so he runs up to the person next to him, a kind gentle old lady, and shouts: "Quick, Ma'am! Hold my bum and fuck it while I get my cock and spank it!" <!-- s:shock: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_eek.gif" alt=":shock:" title="Shocked" /><!-- s:shock: -->
Wed, 04 Apr 2007 19:23:02

Necromancer

hahahahahahahahahahahaha <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Thu, 05 Apr 2007 14:27:52

Firebrand

Nice one it made laugh for a while! <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Fri, 06 Apr 2007 09:47:20

Crimson Wizard

Why are english-language anecdotes so lengthy? <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> It's a curious thing, maybe you have more patience to listen its all to the end <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> I always thought a good anecdote should consist of 3-4 phrases. <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> Well, except its not just a joke, but a sort of a funny story, ofcourse.
Sat, 28 Apr 2007 12:18:53

Crimson Wizard

- Bond. James Bond. - Off. Fuck off.
Sat, 28 Apr 2007 16:55:31

The 4th Class

Heh. <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> BTW... [quote="Crimson Wizard":shppsszw]Why are english-language anecdotes so lengthy? Rolling Eyes It's a curious thing, maybe you have more patience to listen its all to the end Smile I always thought a good anecdote should consist of 3-4 phrases. Smile Well, except its not just a joke, but a sort of a funny story, ofcourse. I've personally always preferred longer jokes over shorter ones. I think they're a bit more exciting, because we're always looking forward to that funny last sentence, that overall waiting for it makes the whole story more enjoyable. <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) -->
Sat, 28 Apr 2007 20:57:21

Firebrand

I think the same myself, I'm not good at telling jokes myself, I guess you could say I'm bad at acting the joke <!-- s:? --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_confused.gif" alt=":?" title="Confused" /><!-- s:? --> (which is also an important thing when telling jokes IMO).
Mon, 30 Apr 2007 14:41:35

Crimson Wizard

Here's another one with similar concept <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> One man meets another. - Bond. James Bond. - Damme. Van Damme. Claude Van Damme. Jean-Claude Van Damme dammit motherf@#$er!!! BTW, we had a snow today <!-- s:P --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s:P --> That reminds about global warming again <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: -->
Mon, 30 Apr 2007 15:13:25

RambOrc

That's not necessarily because of global warming. The first result of global warming is more droughts and higher average temperatures. The second wave of results are also appearing, resulting in certain types of natural catastrophes (like hurricanes) coming more often. The third step is when the balance gets out of hand and fertile regions become deserts. That's what's happening in most places with warming after all - most of the Sahara was fertile land 10-15'000 years ago. Look at the Sahara and you'll see how our homelands could look in the not too far future.
Mon, 30 Apr 2007 18:31:46

Crimson Wizard

lol, i was talking ironically. <!-- s;) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- s;) --> I mean - snow in the beginning of the may <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) -->
Mon, 07 May 2007 09:39:27

Crimson Wizard

Heh, regarding grammar mistakes/typos. There's a russian website with a similar purpose as <!-- w --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.bash.org">http://www.bash.org</a><!-- w --> (quotes from IRC, icq, forums etc). Once I read there a quoted part of a forum discussion, which sounded like this: man 1: You know, whatever forum you are visiting, even if you a saying right and wise things concerning discussed matter, there always can be met an ideot who will pick on grammar mistakes. man 2: idIot.
Mon, 07 May 2007 15:39:49

TheCount

In here looks like pretty much everyone picks on orthography/grammar mistakes (you're in a mortal) <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> Except maybe when you need them to (Fire distinguisher) <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.engrish.com/">http://www.engrish.com/</a><!-- m --> , in here there's a load of all your base are belong to us type of errors. And regarding the long jokes where you wait for the punchline, I know a joke that makes fun of that and makes people want to kill you. It starts with a little boy who finds a letter, takes it to his teacher without opening it, and she sends him to the headmaster. There the boy tells him he found a letter, and his teacher sent him there. The headmaster reads the letter, and, horrorized, she sends him home with his parents. The boy explains: he found the letter, showed him to the teacher, who sent him to the headmaster, he showed it to the headmaster, and she sent him home. You can stretch this joke to last half an hour with the boy being kicked out of the city, the state, the country, etc, and in the end he is kicked out of a ship in the sea, and gets to an island. There he finds a hippie, who tells him everythings allright, and to show him the letter. And then, the boy realizes he lost the letter in the water.
Mon, 07 May 2007 16:44:43

Firebrand

[quote="TheCount":1a9vy19i]In here looks like pretty much everyone picks on orthography/grammar mistakes (you're in a mortal) <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> Except maybe when you need them to (Fire distinguisher) <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> Yeah, now I'm sure that from now on everyone will double check their posts to avoid being joked at because of grammar mistakes <!-- s:P --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s:P --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Mon, 07 May 2007 19:34:39

RambOrc

[quote="TheCount":2g9qkfcx]And regarding the long jokes where you wait for the punchline, I know a joke that makes fun of that and makes people want to kill you. It starts with a little boy who finds a letter, takes it to his teacher without opening it, and she sends him to the headmaster. There the boy tells him he found a letter, and his teacher sent him there. The headmaster reads the letter, and, horrorized, she sends him home with his parents. The boy explains: he found the letter, showed him to the teacher, who sent him to the headmaster, he showed it to the headmaster, and she sent him home. You can stretch this joke to last half an hour with the boy being kicked out of the city, the state, the country, etc, and in the end he is kicked out of a ship in the sea, and gets to an island. There he finds a hippie, who tells him everythings allright, and to show him the letter. And then, the boy realizes he lost the letter in the water. ROFL that's a good one <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Mon, 07 May 2007 21:13:41

The 4th Class

[quote="RambOrc":2z4th2h9][quote="TheCount":2z4th2h9]And regarding the long jokes where you wait for the punchline, I know a joke that makes fun of that and makes people want to kill you. It starts with a little boy who finds a letter, takes it to his teacher without opening it, and she sends him to the headmaster. There the boy tells him he found a letter, and his teacher sent him there. The headmaster reads the letter, and, horrorized, she sends him home with his parents. The boy explains: he found the letter, showed him to the teacher, who sent him to the headmaster, he showed it to the headmaster, and she sent him home. You can stretch this joke to last half an hour with the boy being kicked out of the city, the state, the country, etc, and in the end he is kicked out of a ship in the sea, and gets to an island. There he finds a hippie, who tells him everythings allright, and to show him the letter. And then, the boy realizes he lost the letter in the water. ROFL that's a good one <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> Strangely I didn't get it. <!-- s:? --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_confused.gif" alt=":?" title="Confused" /><!-- s:? -->
Tue, 08 May 2007 14:46:34

Crimson Wizard

Me too. <!-- s:? --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_confused.gif" alt=":?" title="Confused" /><!-- s:? --> <!-- s:wink: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_wink.gif" alt=":wink:" title="Wink" /><!-- s:wink: -->
Wed, 09 May 2007 00:19:53

Firebrand

[quote="The 4th Class":k6zglib8][quote="RambOrc":k6zglib8]ROFL that's a good one <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> Strangely I didn't get it. <!-- s:? --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_confused.gif" alt=":?" title="Confused" /><!-- s:? --> Oh, come on! The thing is that you'll never get to see what the note says, that's the joke! <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Tue, 15 May 2007 10:08:32

Crimson Wizard

ehm. I see. <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) -->
Mon, 04 Jun 2007 13:56:34

Crimson Wizard

Hahahaha.... <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> I was wondering what "Vista" means in "Windows Vista" and found this translation variant: VISTA - Volunteers in Service To America. <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D -->
Mon, 04 Jun 2007 14:40:15

RambOrc

Actually, it's not that funny - replace the first word with "veterans" and you have an important organization in the United States that did object to the naming of the latest Vindows version because it'd make it virtually impossible to find this organization through the web any more. One more charity gone down through the very man who loudly claims to be charitable.
Mon, 04 Jun 2007 15:18:08

The 4th Class

I can just picture the next Windows version being called Windows Peta. <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Mon, 04 Jun 2007 15:38:36

Crimson Wizard

Well, there was already a joke in russian about windows future versions: Windows Vista Windows Visla == approx. meaning "Windows was used to freeze" Windows Budet Viset' == approx. meaning "Windows will freeze" (forever <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> )
Mon, 04 Jun 2007 15:44:57

The 4th Class

[quote="Crimson Wizard":1lj5efct]Well, there was already a joke in russian about windows future versions: Windows Vista Windows Visla == approx. meaning "Windows was used to hang up" Windows Budet Viset' == approx. meaning "Windows will hang up" (forever <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> ) Seems to me completely lost in translation <!-- s:P --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s:P -->
Mon, 04 Jun 2007 16:47:39

Crimson Wizard

Ok, let it be "FREEZE", not hang up. <!-- s:? --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_confused.gif" alt=":?" title="Confused" /><!-- s:? -->
Mon, 04 Jun 2007 18:41:43

TheCount

MS-2 comes to mind...
Tue, 05 Jun 2007 15:19:21

Firebrand

[quote="TheCount":31kgbfo4]MS-2 That's pronounced "MS-DOS" in spanish <!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D -->
Tue, 05 Jun 2007 15:44:13

TheCount

Exactly
Wed, 04 Jul 2007 12:56:08

Crimson Wizard

BTW, is it true that Vista is "chicken" in Latvian? Heard this somewhere recently. <!-- s;) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- s;) --> Anyway, heh, I think I occasionaly invented sort of an anecdote. <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> I hope I will be able to reproduce its main idea here. If you've seen 'Matrix' movie you may remember such episode. There's a Traitor guy, unfortunately I forgot his name, sitting before computers where some Matrix data mess is displayed on monitors, and Neo comes and asks, whether he (the Traitor guy) can really read all that thing. And Traitor sais, that, yeah, he get used to this. You look there and see - here's a blonde one, there's a brunette, and there's a red one... Morpheus, who was passing by, stops and sais: "Don't believe him, there can't be any red-haired ones". Neo: "Why?" Morpheus: "Because it is a binary system".
Wed, 04 Jul 2007 16:00:30

The 4th Class

<!-- s:-s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/eusa_eh.gif" alt=":-s" title="Eh?" /><!-- s:-s -->
Wed, 04 Jul 2007 17:00:11

Crimson Wizard

<!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> It's a sample of bizzare programmer's humor.
Sat, 28 Jul 2007 13:58:29

The 4th Class

Hehe, a funny one I came up with at the coffee shop: A guy walks into a fast food restaurant, eager to await his dinner. At he waits humbly in line, he peaks his eye behind the employee door and sees the chef, a huge fat man, opening a packet that says, "soup concentrate," dumps it all into his mouth, swirls it around, and then spits it all into a pot on the stove. He is disgusted, but then he sees the chef go over to the fridge and scoop out a whole ton of ground beef, which he places between his hairy armpits and squeezes it flat, then throws it onto a pan. By now this man is mortified, and he insists to the cashier that he speak with the manager about him. The cashier just shakes her arms and says, "O that's nothing. You should see how he makes the donuts!"
Sat, 28 Jul 2007 14:35:52

RambOrc

This joke has been around for eternity.
Mon, 30 Jul 2007 07:19:07

Crimson Wizard

Liked this one very much <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> : A bullet may have your name on it, but shrapnel is addressed "to whom it may concern". (read on <!-- w --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.bash.org">http://www.bash.org</a><!-- w -->)
Mon, 30 Jul 2007 08:39:32

RambOrc

Evil. <!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D -->
Mon, 30 Jul 2007 15:16:08

The 4th Class

Honestly CW, what are you reading there? <!-- s:shock: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_eek.gif" alt=":shock:" title="Shocked" /><!-- s:shock: -->
Mon, 30 Jul 2007 15:24:16

Firebrand

You really got a laugh out of me with that <!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D -->
Mon, 30 Jul 2007 16:31:37

Crimson Wizard

[quote="The 4th Class":acjewjc7]Honestly CW, what are you reading there? <!-- s:shock: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_eek.gif" alt=":shock:" title="Shocked" /><!-- s:shock: --> Honestly, huh? I do usually read russian "version" of that website (i.e. with quotes from russian internet forums, IRC, ICQ etc), which, in my opinion, is much more funny and interesting (not primarily because of language); as for bash.org itself, I read it rarely, simply of curiosity, but I found its material more... well, both childish and obscene. Anyway, I can find a good joke there sometimes too.
Thu, 02 Aug 2007 15:41:14

The 4th Class

Two new jokes. <!-- s8) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_cool.gif" alt="8)" title="Cool" /><!-- s8) -->
A guy walks into a doctor's office, really anxious and worried. He asks the doctor, "Sir, will I live to be 90?" The doctor then begins to ask him some tough questions. DOCTOR: "Well, son, how old are you now?" MAN: "Just turned 30." DOCTOR: "Hmm... Do you smoke?" MAN: (proudly) "Never. Never have, never will." DOCTOR: "Do you take any other drugs?" MAN: "Not one pill." DOCTOR: "What about alcohol?" MAN: "Never drank a single drop" DOCTOR: "And why not?" MAN: "Well, it's obvious: I respect my brain cells too much to slowly kill them off." DOCTOR: "Ok, well what's your diet like?" MAN: "Always always eat healthy organics. I refuse to touch fast-food or anything high in trans fat." DOCTOR: (raises an eyebrow) "How's your sex-life?" MAN: "I'm a proud virgin. My girlfriend and I are waiting until marriage, because we love each other too much to rush such a beautiful rite of passage." The doctor just rolls his eyes: "So why do you give a shit if you live to be 90?" <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) -->
Early on in the Space Race, the US and the USSR got really competitive about who could send a man on the moon first, but both superpowers came across the same problem: neither of their ball-pens could function in the zero-gravity environment of space. So, what the Americans do, is they spend billions and billions of government money to conduct research on an authentic, hi-tech pen that is capable of working in any environment, be it on Earth, underwater, in the vacuum of space, or even on the sun. The pen costs $1 million, but it will last for thousands of years and will, remarkably, never run out of ink, because it can even photosynthesize its own ink. NASA is madly in love with this "Space Pen," and really shove it into the Russians' face, saying they'll never be able to write in space like the Americans can. But the Russians just used pencils.
Thu, 02 Aug 2007 16:24:47

Crimson Wizard

both superpowers came across the same problem: neither of their ball-pens could function in the zero-gravity environment of space.
I've got 2 questions here: 1) is it true that ball-pen cannot function in zero gravity? Really, I have doubts about that. 2) Why the f**k anyone need to have a ball-pen in space? <!-- s:P --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s:P --> What they are going to write there?
Thu, 02 Aug 2007 17:17:34

RambOrc

It is true, ball pens don't work in zero gravity.
Fri, 03 Aug 2007 07:04:24

Crimson Wizard

Yeah, now when I thought about this a little I understand that was a silly question <!-- s;) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- s;) -->
Tue, 07 Aug 2007 12:54:16

Crimson Wizard

grosslack: Hell is a place of everlasting damnation and fire. locokamil: Your belief system is thermodynamically unsound.
Tue, 07 Aug 2007 19:06:12

Necromancer

I have one. A guy named Joe is sitting in a bar. He pulls out a man who is about a foot tall and matching size piano. The short man begins to play the piano rather beautifully. Bill who is sitting next to Joe asks where he got the piano player so Joe tells him that he found genie and wished for him. Bill asks if he can make a wish so Joe hands him the lamps and Bill says "I wish for a million bucks. All of a sudden the room is full of ducks. Bill says "Hey I wished for a million bucks not ducks." Joe says "Well you see the genie is a little bit deaf so he has a tendency to misinterpret your wishes. You don't think that I really wished for a 12 inch pianist do you?"
Wed, 08 Aug 2007 04:04:19

The 4th Class

[quote="Necromancer":2n656ptz]I have one. A guy named Joe is sitting in a bar. He pulls out a man who is about a foot tall and matching size piano. The short man begins to play the piano rather beautifully. Bill who is sitting next to Joe asks where he got the piano player so Joe tells him that he found genie and wished for him. Bill asks if he can make a wish so Joe hands him the lamps and Bill says "I wish for a million bucks. All of a sudden the room is full of ducks. Bill says "Hey I wished for a million bucks not ducks." Joe says "Well you see the genie is a little bit deaf so he has a tendency to misinterpret your wishes. You don't think that I really wished for a 12 inch pianist do you?" Hah! <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> K, I have some other ones, about really cheesy, stupid pick-up lines. Pick-up lines are fast sentences that a man says to a female stranger that he secretly loves, which he says in order to say to her that he loves her. Here are some of my favourites: "I lost my telephone number, may I have yours?" "I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?" "Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?" "Hey slut, gimme a blow job" "I am a magical being, take off your bra." "I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?" "Brrr! My hands are cold. May I warm them in your tender breasts?" "Are we related? Do you want to be?" (to a chemistry student): "Wow, you excite my electrons!" (to a linguistics student): "I wish I were an anaphor so I could be bound in your domain." (to a music student): "I bet you can make me sing soprano." (to a computer science student): "Need me to unzip your floppies?" And this one's my personal favourite <!-- s:twisted: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_twisted.gif" alt=":twisted:" title="Twisted Evil" /><!-- s:twisted: --> "I'm gonna have sex with you tonight, so you might as well be there."
Wed, 22 Aug 2007 19:51:24

PePe QuiCoSE

do you know how much weight a fat penguin? enough to break the ice that one is so stupid that actually worked couple of times... but pick up lines are stupid anyway <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) -->
Thu, 23 Aug 2007 01:44:05

TheCount

[quote="PePe QuiCoSE":7cws8ior]do you know how much weight a fat penguin? enough to break the ice Duude, I'm going to Madryin on Saturday!
Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:47:43

Crimson Wizard

<!-- w --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.bash.org">http://www.bash.org</a><!-- w -->: US Airways flight 404 is flying through the Bermuda Triangle today. Yeah, that one doesn't stand a chance. <tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong <Ouroboros> Ok. <tag> | . <Ouroboros> . | <tag> | . <Ouroboros> . | <tag> | . <Ouroboros> | . <Ouroboros> Whoops <kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't." <SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow. <SpaceRain> STUPID <Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid <V-girl> i belong with the other 13% <frank> can you help me install GTA3? <knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using frank has quit IRC. (Quit) <knightmare> ... (morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct? (alec_eso): 1, morganj (morganj): bastard.
Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:50:37

TheCount

[quote="Crimson Wizard":3cu0g6bm]US Airways flight 404 is flying through the Bermuda Triangle today. Yeah, that one doesn't stand a chance. 404 <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Fri, 07 Sep 2007 16:18:30

Crimson Wizard

From russian forum (in my translation): Person 1 - I saw cool silver-colored jeans yesterday. I wished to buy them, since they looked in cyberpunk style. But then a thought came in my mind, that most people will not think I am cyberpunk, but rather that I am gay. So, I didn't buy them <!-- s:( --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" title="Sad" /><!-- s:( --> Person 2 - That's how homophobes ruin cyberpunk movement.
Fri, 07 Sep 2007 16:45:57

TheCount

<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://uncyclopedia.org/">http://uncyclopedia.org/</a><!-- m --> Heh, the spanish version of an article keeps talking about windows "hasta la vista"
Fri, 07 Sep 2007 17:47:12

The 4th Class

[quote="TheCount":3hpq4nzy]http://uncyclopedia.org/ Heh, the spanish version of an article keeps talking about windows "hasta la vista" Wow this site is a masterpiece! <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> But ultimately a fad.
Thu, 11 Oct 2007 13:22:17

Crimson Wizard

Heh. Online MMORPG chat: person 1: Who is a high-leveled Summoner here? person 2: Me, whassup? person 1: Call me a taxi, please!!
Tue, 27 Nov 2007 19:59:09

Necromancer

Why did they invent glow in the dark condoms <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> So people could play Star Wars <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Tue, 27 Nov 2007 21:43:29

The 4th Class

The Phonological Features of Sex: +back +sonorant +continuous +advanced tongue root (and thanks to some women...) +delayed release
Wed, 28 Nov 2007 02:57:27

Necromancer

Introducing the new Tickle Me EMO <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nRNYG_xM2U">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nRNYG_xM2U</a><!-- m -->
Wed, 28 Nov 2007 08:42:04

Valherran

LMAO!!
Wed, 28 Nov 2007 21:38:59

The 4th Class

Love the kid's last word! <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Thu, 29 Nov 2007 19:05:50

Firebrand

<!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> That's a good one <!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D -->
Thu, 29 Nov 2007 21:45:23

The 4th Class

[quote="Firebrand":3suljt9l]:lol: That's a good one <!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D --> LOL, there's emokids in Mexico too? <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:08:45

TheCount

They're everywhere. They ought to be steamrolled, those pests.
Thu, 29 Nov 2007 23:52:33

Valherran

[quote="TheCount":13gust60]They're everywhere. They ought to be steamrolled, those pests. I second that, hey, how about me and you start at all the local Starbucks' those are Emo hangouts believe it or not. <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Fri, 30 Nov 2007 04:18:52

TheCount

There are no Starbucks here, but I know quite a few places I could start in.
Fri, 30 Nov 2007 20:22:37

The 4th Class

A ventroliquist hosts a comedy routine about women. Overtime he starts making a few blonde jokes, to which the whole audiences laughs their asses off, until one blonde woman right in the front stands up and barks: "How dare you! It's scum like you who make me go through this constant mockery. Nobody takes us seriously because of the stereotypes you feed the masses. Do you really think that the colour of a woman's hair is a sign of her intelligence? Do you really think all us blondes are these big-breasted bimbos who can't count to 12? I'm a neuroscientist, DAMMIT! I've got master degrees upon master degrees! I know more about women than you will EVER know!" The audience quickly become dead silent. The ventriloquist slowly stands up, full of regret, and says, "aw geez, I.. I'm so sorry ma'am. I didn't mean to ..." The woman interrupts, "No, not you! I'm talking to that little smartass on your knee."
Fri, 30 Nov 2007 20:27:22

TheCount

Heh, I've heard that one before.
Sat, 01 Dec 2007 23:48:24

Valherran

[quote="TheCount":3bgq32ff]Heh, I've heard that one before. Likewise, still funny though. <!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D -->
Sun, 02 Dec 2007 14:44:50

The 4th Class

How many teenage girls does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but she'll be on the phone for 5 hours talking to all her friends about it.
Sun, 02 Dec 2007 15:21:17

Crimson Wizard

How much rotations does it take for a blonde to put in a lightbulb? None, she just holds it in her hand and the other world rotates around her.
Sun, 02 Dec 2007 18:01:07

Valherran

LMAO!
Sun, 02 Dec 2007 23:40:46

Necromancer

<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_364.htm">http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_364.htm</a><!-- m --> No offense meant 4th class, just having fun <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D -->
Mon, 03 Dec 2007 00:24:02

The 4th Class

[quote="Necromancer":n2vth0dq]http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_364.htm No offense meant 4th class, just having fun <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D --> Some of these never get old! <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D -->
Mon, 03 Dec 2007 00:26:39

The 4th Class

And for the record, this year is supposedly gonna be the coldest winter in recent local history. After the warm shock we faced last year, virtually all the ppl I know say "bring it!" <!-- s:twisted: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_twisted.gif" alt=":twisted:" title="Twisted Evil" /><!-- s:twisted: -->
Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:19:53

Crimson Wizard

You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed".
Funny I always used to pronounce 'X' it as 'X' (I-ks, or KS), until I occasionally learned that it usually should be pronounced as "Z". <!-- s;) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- s;) -->
Mon, 03 Dec 2007 17:54:25

TheCount

I didn't know it was such an elite knowledge. However, as much as I know that is the way to pronnounce it, it'll always be "zeta" to me.
Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:57:52

The 4th Class

ok, ppl, let's go back to grade 1 and pronounce 'em all the proper way. <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> A - [ej] B - [bi] C - [si] D - [di] E - F - [ɛf] G - [dʒi] H - [ejtʃ] I - [aj] J - [dʒej] K - [kʰej] L - [ɛɫ] M - [ɛm] N - [ɛn] O - [ow] P - [pʰi] Q - [kʰju] R - [ɑr] S - [ɛs] T - [tʰi] U - [ju] V - [vi] W - [dʌ.bəl.ju] X - [ɛks] Y - [waj] Z - [zɛd] Any anglophone who says otherwise can suck my balls.
Mon, 03 Dec 2007 20:12:32

Crimson Wizard

LOL I know how they sound in alphabet. What I was talking about - is how 'x' sound in words. For example, my vocabulary sais that word "xylophone" pronounced as "zai-le-feun"
Mon, 03 Dec 2007 21:39:49

Necromancer

What's the similarity between a blonde and the Bermuda Triangle <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> Both have swallowed a lot of se(a)men <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: -->
Mon, 03 Dec 2007 22:25:49

The 4th Class

Here's a sex joke you can actually tell a woman <!-- s:P --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s:P -->: What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How can you breathe through something so small!?"
Tue, 04 Dec 2007 01:13:37

TheCount

[quote="The 4th Class":12vfcgna]ok, ppl, let's go back to grade 1 and pronounce 'em all the proper way. <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> What a good time to mention I don't understand phonetic notation.
Tue, 04 Dec 2007 02:39:31

Necromancer

OMFG 4th class that has to be one of the dirtiest jokes i've ever heard <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: -->
Tue, 04 Dec 2007 09:39:22

Crimson Wizard

[quote="TheCount":29u8wxfc][quote="The 4th Class":29u8wxfc]ok, ppl, let's go back to grade 1 and pronounce 'em all the proper way. <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> What a good time to mention I don't understand phonetic notation. Oh-oh <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> in my school we learned those in 2nd grade. Or in grade 2, if we speak Canadian, <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) -->
Tue, 04 Dec 2007 12:03:19

Necromancer

What's the difference between Iraq and Vietnam <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> FAT <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Tue, 04 Dec 2007 13:06:51

Crimson Wizard

[quote="Necromancer":2sbkbm84]What's the difference between Iraq and Vietnam <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> FAT <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: -->
Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:29:18

Valherran

[quote="Crimson Wizard":16uifymr][quote="Necromancer":16uifymr]What's the difference between Iraq and Vietnam <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> FAT <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: -->
Tue, 04 Dec 2007 18:46:14

TheCount

[quote="Valherran":ci8odq0b][quote="Crimson Wizard":ci8odq0b][quote="Necromancer":ci8odq0b]What's the difference between Iraq and Vietnam <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> FAT <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: -->
Tue, 04 Dec 2007 21:31:20

The 4th Class

[quote="TheCount":1qf1jgog][quote="Valherran":1qf1jgog][quote="Crimson Wizard":1qf1jgog][quote="Necromancer":1qf1jgog]What's the difference between Iraq and Vietnam <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> FAT <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: -->
Wed, 05 Dec 2007 00:49:26

Necromancer

Alright i'll give you guys a hint <!-- s:? --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_confused.gif" alt=":?" title="Confused" /><!-- s:? --> It has been found that Americans today are generally heavier than they were during the 70's.
Wed, 05 Dec 2007 02:25:47
Wed, 05 Dec 2007 06:26:50

Valherran

[quote="Necromancer":1s2y5yl2]Alright i'll give you guys a hint <!-- s:? --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_confused.gif" alt=":?" title="Confused" /><!-- s:? --> It has been found that Americans today are generally heavier than they were during the 70's. I dont even know how that makes a joke... <!-- s:( --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" title="Sad" /><!-- s:( -->
Wed, 05 Dec 2007 06:27:26

Valherran

[quote="Ichor":3dn5imrq]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFldBVWFgWo LMAO, i have seen this before, still funny though! <!-- s:P --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s:P -->
Wed, 05 Dec 2007 10:34:41

Crimson Wizard

[quote="Necromancer":13wsvtx5]Alright i'll give you guys a hint <!-- s:? --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_confused.gif" alt=":?" title="Confused" /><!-- s:? --> It has been found that Americans today are generally heavier than they were during the 70's. Now I get it, though its kinda strange one. <!-- s;) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- s;) --> But then it's not only FAT but also the WEED <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) -->
Wed, 05 Dec 2007 21:27:21

The 4th Class

Why did Hitler kill himself? Because he just saw the gas bill. [quote="Crimson Wizard":qx2usbng]But then it's not only FAT but also the WEED <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> I heard somewhere that Canada has the single highest cannabis use in the world. Damn we're all a bunch of pot-smoking hippies. <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) -->
Thu, 06 Dec 2007 02:53:18

TheCount

The only canadian I know beside you smokes pot <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Thu, 06 Dec 2007 03:10:14

Necromancer

Well if yous are so onto the Canadians then I'd thought I post another link: <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt1_6uz_sVU">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt1_6uz_sVU</a><!-- m --> Again no offense meant, just havin' fun. <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Thu, 06 Dec 2007 04:13:36

TheCount

Funny as hell.. it'd be way more funny if I understood a bit more about it. btw who thinks a topic title change is in order?
Thu, 06 Dec 2007 09:32:57

Crimson Wizard

[quote="The 4th Class":3lbdxe6y]Why did Hitler kill himself? Because he just saw the gas bill. .. from russian Gasprom <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> ROFLMAO [quote="TheCount":3lbdxe6y]btw who thinks a topic title change is in order? Done.
Thu, 06 Dec 2007 18:24:23

The 4th Class

Lol, since we're onto Canadiana, here's some videos I think you guys might get a kick out of. These are commercials from Molson Canadian, a brewer back in the 90s and early 2000s. This is back in the days when Molson was actually an independent brewer, now they're owned by an American multinational corporation. <!-- s:x --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_mad.gif" alt=":x" title="Mad" /><!-- s:x --> [url:93hhlt0l]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1RrncVgLFY BTW: That thing the Canadian does is called the "jersey." <!-- s:wink: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_wink.gif" alt=":wink:" title="Wink" /><!-- s:wink: --> Here's another video, I think this was Molson's "definitive" commercial. It's been parodied so many thousands of times for years that's it's become a national icon. [url:93hhlt0l]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRI-A3vakVg
Sat, 08 Dec 2007 14:45:42

Necromancer

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> One's made of plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other's meant to hold groceries <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Sat, 08 Dec 2007 18:02:38

The 4th Class

Heh, that one's been around for a while. <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> Why did Hitler hate the Jews? Because he was circumcised.
Sat, 08 Dec 2007 19:11:29

Necromancer

What's the similarity between Micheal Jackson and Wal-mart <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> Both have boys' pants half off <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: -->
Sat, 08 Dec 2007 19:36:57

TheCount

What happens when you mix racism, a troll, a warcraft t-shirt and finnish humor? Well, that's not the actual joke, but this happens: <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMJbO6d2j3s">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMJbO6d2j3s</a><!-- m -->
Sat, 08 Dec 2007 23:33:23

Necromancer

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration.
Sun, 09 Dec 2007 01:26:59

TheCount

I take it that you know Finntroll, basing myself on your joke?
Sun, 09 Dec 2007 18:09:33

Necromancer

Here's a video that's guaranteed to make you ROFL <!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D --> <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yz9tax4mPg">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yz9tax4mPg</a><!-- m -->
Mon, 10 Dec 2007 13:42:50

Firebrand

[quote="Necromancer":2npqe49d]What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration. This one made laugh like an idiot, I even couldn't write on my keyboard, heh! <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Mon, 10 Dec 2007 19:56:31

Necromancer

What's the similarity between toilet paper and the starship enterprise <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> They both go around Uranus looking for kling ons <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Mon, 10 Dec 2007 20:04:05

Crimson Wizard

* vomites *
Mon, 10 Dec 2007 22:31:05

The 4th Class

Hey Necromancer, since you seem to be into scheiße jokes, have you watched 2girls1cup? <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:P --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s:P --> (PS: Under no circumstances is anybody ever to watch that film. Ever. You have been warned. Decide to watch it anyway, and it's your own fault.)
Tue, 11 Dec 2007 02:15:11

Necromancer

I've never even heard of it.
Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:34:16

The 4th Class

What did the judge say to the serial rapist? "You must be hung!"
Tue, 18 Dec 2007 22:55:23

Necromancer

Here's a list of things that happen when you play too much doom <!-- s:D --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s:D --> <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://members.chello.at/theodor.lauppert/games/doomquot.htm">http://members.chello.at/theodor.lauppe ... omquot.htm</a><!-- m -->
Tue, 18 Dec 2007 23:12:45

TheCount

The last line is excelent <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
Thu, 20 Dec 2007 12:18:35

Crimson Wizard

Kremlin - a capital of Moscow. An old castle, officialy guarded by a mummy.
Fri, 21 Dec 2007 04:06:37

Necromancer

How does Micheal Jackson like his hot dogs <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: --> 40 year old meat between 12 year old buns <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: -->
Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:26:15

Crimson Wizard

(translation from russian) ICQ - sole: Everytime you send an emoticon, somewhere on Earth a kitten dies. Stop doing this! Alice: How terrific!!!!! :'-( Alice: Oops! Alice: Ok, I'll do this no more :) Alice: AAAAAAAAA, you bastard!!! Alice: I am now in the bad mood!!!! Alice: all because of your freakin kittens. Alice: :-/ Alice: AAAAAAAAA!!! Hate you! you monster!!! * contact Alice deleted itself
Tue, 01 Jan 2008 04:31:59

TheCount

[img:18w55lgy]http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u246/BlackHeretic/ww2.gif[/img:18w55lgy]
Tue, 01 Jan 2008 06:08:11

Necromancer

LMFAO <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> That's how history class should be <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: -->
Tue, 01 Jan 2008 17:36:55

Firebrand

Great stuff, this one made me laugh a lot <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) -->, I agree, history classes need a real improvement <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> .
Tue, 01 Jan 2008 18:39:01
Thu, 10 Jan 2008 08:07:41

Valherran

OMG i want that as my Avatar, LMFAO!
Tue, 15 Jan 2008 04:37:26

The 4th Class

PORN FLAKES! [url:19oacili]http://youtube.com/watch?v=xmyG9UsHXTw
Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:38:40

Crimson Wizard

<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.bash.org">http://www.bash.org</a><!-- m -->: <Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!! <Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key <Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!! <Judge-Mental> fuck me lemonlimeskull: Keith dodged a serious bullet thanks to his massive stupidity. Opium: Hmm? lemonlimeskull: Well, as you may know he lost his license months ago lemonlimeskull: So he's been biking everywhere, which has lead to him losing a bunch of weight lemonlimeskull: He bikes to Walmart today and as soon as he gets to the electronics department, realizes his wallet's fallen out, probably somewhere along the highway. lemonlimeskull: So he takes the memory card he wanted, puts it up in his baggy sleeve, and goes to leave. killjay: Uh oh lemonlimeskull: Yeah. lemonlimeskull: Naturally, security stops him as he gets within 5 feet of the front doors. This huge obese woman who is obviously having a really bad day - or just hates her job. killjay: o shit lemonlimeskull: She stops him, GRABS his arm, RIPS up his sleeve, and WRENCHES the card out of his hand. lemonlimeskull: He knows he's screwed so he starts crying in the middle of the fucking store. He cries all the way back to the security office, and everyone's staring at him the whole way. Opium: So he's sitting in jail right now lemonlimeskull: That's the awesome part. The manager takes a look at him, notices the bike helmet, poorly fitting clothes, lack of any ID whatsoever, and the fact that he's crying like a three year old. killjay: .... -_- lemonlimeskull: Yes. He was let go and the security woman got chewed out for hurting a "retarded kid".

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